I lost my Beloved to China for a whole week last week.
Barely coped at all...
in spite of the fact that SuperAunt Moo, my delightful friend and sister, was here for most of it keeping me company and entertaining the boys.
And in spite of the fact that my Beloved left us seven little 'Chinese take-away' boxes, one for each day of his absence, every one containing a letter for me and a treat for the boys.
His absence reminded me just how vulnerable we can make ourselves when we truly let someone into our lives. I've always considered myself fairly independent. But in this marriage, I'm very interdependent. I couldn't do what I'm doing, being at home with small kids, without him. Take the kids out of the equation and I'd still be a mess.
It's probably unfashionable to be so enmeshed... but I don't regret this vulnerability. It's costly, it makes being apart horrid, but what is the other option? To be guarded, hold back, to try to make myself invulnerable, just in case...?
Anyway, enough of those musings. He returned bearing tea-related gifts (given my recent obsession with tea paraphernalia)...
{Confucius say: happiness is to be found in the teapot.}
Welcome back Beloved. The boys are all yours for the next week... I'm off for a cuppa.
Your thoughts on your relationship and your part in it are honest and beautiful. How can true, true love be unfashionable.
ReplyDeleteBrings tears to my eyes.... I always thought I was completely independant, until I actually had to be completely independant. What a rude shock.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your interdependance - it's a truly beautiful thing.
Goodness, you know how to say stuff. So, so glad he's back.
ReplyDelete(apologies for my email a few minutes ago - am clearly living in my own timezone)...
What a sweetie pie he is for leaving a goodie for each day he was gone. Your gifts are very cute, too.
ReplyDeleteLovely post Gina. I hear ya. So pleased for you that he's home. Enjoy your cuppa!
ReplyDeleteOh, you are such a sweetie! (and obviously so is he!!) I know that feeling too well. I have been inseperable from my other half since we met when I was 15, 19 years ago. We hate being apart. It's a nice feeling, to be that loved, don't you think?
ReplyDeleteEnjoy the journey back to equilibrium :-)
ReplyDeleteThat is so gorgeous that your hubby left the letters and treats. It reminds me of years ago when now hubby and I were doing the long-distance-thing and I would find little love notes all arond the house for weeks ...
ReplyDeleteEnjoy having him back....
What a sweet, sweet man!!
ReplyDeleteOh my hearted melted reading about the noodle boxes - how gorgeous! If it is unfashionable to be in such love - then love geeks we must be!
ReplyDeleteOh how precious is he leaving you all little notes for each day, he truly does love his family doesnt he. It is nice to be interdependant as it shows that your being loved and you can raise your family too. I love your gift.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad he's back, a week is a long time in the life of a mum of two toddler. What a sweetie he must be to leave notes, and to bring gifts home. I understand the interdependence thing wholeheartedly!
ReplyDeleteI was sold on the noodle boxes . . .but tea related giftage too! What a guy.
ReplyDeleteMine does cute treasure hunts all over the house and garden for my birthday each year. Means more to me than the gift at the end. Such SNAGS they are!! (He'd kill me if he knew I was sharing this on the www)
xo
that is so sweet! what a gorgeous family you have dear Gina x x
ReplyDeleteMy love went to South Africa last octobre. I really cried and felt truly homesick. I was at home, with my little ones, pregnant of our youngest, but it didn't feel like home without him.
ReplyDeleteUnfasionable or not, feelings like these are true and strong. Sometimes it scares me, but most of the time I cherish it. Isn't it awesome to have a love like that?
Cute teacup!
Beautifully written Gina. I am unfashionable too then. You have articulated (so beautifully and honestly) the exact position I find myself in each and every working week. But, it is me that is away and alone..
ReplyDeleteSo pleased your Mr is home again (bringing with him gifts of tea inspired goodness). Peta
we just need to get you some tea for that tea pot :) I love the chinese boxes full of love :)
ReplyDeletesuch a lovely post Gina and I am VERY envious of your lovely tea goodies
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful post. I agree with you. I don't think you can fully give yourself to a relationship without making yourself vulnerable. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
ReplyDeleteYour man sounds pretty special too with the little takeaway boxes.
Thanks for sharing, i recently had a bit of a realisation on how much my life is reliant on my husband, when he is sad - i am sad, when he is happy - i am happy... I think the vulnerability just shows how much we care and how our feelings have sort of meshed with our partners... i feel lucky at the same time as feeling vulnerable, lukcy to have someone to do that with ! It's sounds a bit odd! Love the takeaway box idea!
ReplyDeleteI love those teacups with lids. So pretty.
ReplyDeleteI used to worry that being too interdependent was a dangerous thing "just in case" the circumstances changed. And it's taken a long time to let go of that, as it's really just another one of those fear things... better to love all that you depend on, and that depend on you, than to not have such a beautiful dependence.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully said! I'm revelling in being unfashionable too :)
ReplyDeleteWhat a nice post -- so true. And how clever of your man not just to leave notes, but to leave notes in Chinese take out containers. So sweet and clever!
ReplyDelete